The winter holiday season is supposed to be a time of love, laughter and celebration – but it’s not exactly a big secret that family gatherings around this time of year can be problematic. Old grudges, intrusive questions, awkward conversations and differing political views can turn into fiery disagreements.
If those escalate far enough, punches can be thrown and someone can end up in handcuffs before dinner is over, charged with an act of domestic violence. How do you avoid the drama if you can’t just “opt out” of the whole family gathering? Here are some suggestions for diffusing heated situations.
1. Go in prepared to walk back out
Before you set foot in grandma’s house, decide on your boundaries and make some promises to yourself. If there’s a family member that won’t take the hint when you tell them to drop the political talk or to stop talking about your “lifestyle” choices, make your apologies to the rest of the group, grab your coat and leave. Turn your phone on mute and let the whole thing blow over.
2. Choose your space wisely
Unless there’s assigned seating, try to locate yourself near family members who make you feel comfortable, whether that’s a sibling you adore or a cousin who shares your sense of humor. Disappear to the game room or another spot where you can keep physical distance between you and those who seem to thrive on drama.
3. Practice silence and redirection
You aren’t going to change anybody’s mind about anything by engaging with them in a passionate argument. If someone says something that’s clearly designed to provoke a response, try just listening to them until they stop talking and then casually redirecting the conversation toward something neutral. Responding with, “That’s an interesting perspective. Anyhow, did you see those decorations down the street?” may throw the other party off their game and flatten their gusto for a fight.
If you do end up in an altercation over Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year’s Eve and it leads to criminal charges, there are defense options. Don’t let this holiday season adversely affect the coming year any more than it already has by failing to seek legal guidance.